COMPLICATED

hiking 8/10/11

2011-10-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

is the 1st time hiking but is not the last for me thought many of my frens say that that will their last... i do kinda like to do these adventures stuff in a big group but my problem is that my body couldn't take it... well is obvious that my body is damn weak la... i'm happy that she didn't come along with us though... i don't need to worry bout her and also wont see her suffer... every time i see her suffer my heart really hurts that is more painful than i i'm injured... we went to the saga hill for hiking and we went as deep till we reach the waterfall... i surely enjoy the hiking better if my body is at a better condition... everything end bout 3.30pm where i drive home... as i step into the house, my dad announce that we're moving this sat... i'm shocked and happy... this is so sudden and all the stuff have not been packed at all... then have a clean bath and rest till dinner... after dinner then go find ah jie cause she giving me tuition for 1st aid... thought i think i still gonna fail but she still try hard to teach me le... wad a great jie i hav... did enjoy the day from hiking till night tuition at viva... taught is tuition but i still have my fun chatting with ah jie... start to miss her tim... ^^

2/10/11

2011-10-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

today dad's having a holiday... well is been long since the last holiday la... envy him so much to have the strength to work so hard... i wish i could do the same but i cant... morning morning need to go tesco to buy stocks... then come back to get ready for brunch... brunch is dim sum at kuai lum (a restaurant at jinjang)... then go to grandfather house to have a nap?? that is what i do la... haha... then go home to sleep again before going to movies... we go watch nasi lemak 2.0 at mbo viva... the movie is ok noting much to comment... dinner at the same place also la... haha the most important for today is that it is Family Day which is the whole point...

my 1st competition 22/9/11

2011-10-01T07:07:00.000-07:00

last week was the competition but i hav no time to write bout it... so i drag it till now... it was 22 Sept 2011 where my very 1st cooking competition Salon Culinaire 2011 also know as Food and Hotel Malaysia taking place at KL Convention center... there is the big crowd and stuffs la... the feeling is hard to describe, cause i'm happy,fear,nervous before my competition... whats with me and number4?? why do i keep getting that number arh... my kitchen number is number 4 lor... after i come out from the kitchen, my eyes are wet as i overcooked my salmon which make me to lose the gold medal... but i'm also happy cause i kno that she is beside of me when i'm in the competition and also after the competition... she tried to cheer me up... i'm vry happy bout that, i really love her... then i also bought myself a black uniform which is damn cool... i also wont the competition as a bronze medalist... thought is not what i want but is what i get...

history repeats in another story...

2011-09-14T08:36:00.000-07:00

much have happen jus in a week time, enough to make me totally worn out and cash out... i jus doesn't such things can cause me to be sozai... finally i call myself sozai after all these years of ego... i'm tired enough to travel places to places with the rains and sweats all over my body... but at least her happiness is wat i want and wat i hope for her... well never taught that i'm the third party ever again but then i'm vry wrong... my timing is always not right, whether the god thinks i'm fun to play with or that i'm not good enough to get the things well done... i give in as much as i can but still i'm not the right one... i don't regret doing all these stuffs cause all i want is you to be happy... for now i will keep my distance as far as i could from you but willing to sacrifices for you...

FONG CHEN MUN signing off...

friday night

2011-09-09T08:38:00.000-07:00

is jus another normal schooling friday... so class are NORMAL well is the 1st class so couldn't say much stuff... was planing to ask her out for dinner but well not really turn out the way i wan it to be... all i manage to do is to drive her home safely which is wat i want... thought i didnt wan to only do that but is better than noting... although i was hoping the route bac to her house to b longer and more jam but then i couldn't bare to look at her sleeping uncomfortably in my car... she look so tired and it really makes me worried that is the only thing that i can do... hopefully she could really give me a chance... but her happiness is wat matter the most... on the same time, fhm is round the corner... FONG CHEN MUN u must really focus and get that damn gold medal bac... everyone that cares you is hoping u to get that damn medal...

one day trip to UK farm

2011-09-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

the journey was great though there is something missing throughout the trip... 1st we went to the Pusat Pertanian Pantai at Seremban... there lots of edible herbs are being told but one that attracts my attention is the Bougainvillea Spectabilis Wind due to the effect of regulate blood circulation and clean lungs if i didn't hear wrongly... if I'm right then is good for smokers la... ^^ going to cook that for them... then go to a bird nest warehouse... wanted to buy a bowl but then feel like there is no point la so nope didn't buy... after that lunch, then go to organic farm... seriously noting to do there boring like shit, there is noting attractive... then last destination is to UK farm... the farm itself contain several place to visit... have loads of fun watching the goats lining up to go eat grass, how discipline are them compare to the MONKEYS in KL... then have a chance to carry one little goat... the feel was awesome, it feel so soft and fluffy... so cute ^^... then we go to ostrich farm... there i fed the ostrich... quite scary as it looks like gonna peck your hand and the head make it looks like its gonna strike any second... after that is fed the young goats with goats milk... quite enjoying and fun... look at them fight for milk... haha... then others is jus have some walk and look at the products... i did eat ice-cream made from goat's milk.. it taste like normal ice-cream but contain some extra flavour... dinner then the journey ends...

new sem

2011-08-24T09:19:00.000-07:00

is start my 3rd sem for almost a week... when i'm finally done with my time table which i'm happy with the management ask us to reschedule our time table jus because we did not enroll following the subject sequence... wat is the point of this?? ask us to choose our own and now asking us to change again... by the end of the day must learn all also wad... haix... it took me so much effort to arrange my time table that at last i have 2 classes with her... i'm so not satisfied that suddenly my time-table have to change... i wanted to b with her so badly... come on peeps, why are this stupid thing happening?? haix... it totally fucked up my mood lor... arh...

crazy me...

2011-08-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

is was an awesome blast on last weekend... party like nobody business... at least could cheer me up a bit... drink n smoke that really make me relax and enjoy myself... but then i still get tear apart very easily... thought i puik all over the place but seriously i feel good... i finally kno the meaning of drunk... seriously u wont feel a thing that happen... a lot of stuff remains a mystery, u'll nvr kno wat u did when ur drunk... seriously fuck up...

CAM dinner...

2011-07-23T09:11:00.000-07:00

it 22th July 2011 this is my 1st formal dinner in college and also 1st time wearing chef uniform for a formal event... the night is fantastic and the happiness i felt i couldn't describe it... it is held at palace of the golden horses which is the same venue with my last year prom... the route to there is kinda stress as i'm the one who is driving this time where i'm very bad with roads... reach there and start drinking ^^... then dinner was a buffet style which i dun really like it that much as i hate to line up... haha lazy me... so as the show time start, we the BUCH keep cheering and enjoying like there is no one else in the ballroom... is fantastic... the song that we all sang together phang yao by alan tam...everyone end up losing their voice or at least i lost mine...

music in my soul

2011-06-20T09:06:00.000-07:00

sitting all alone,

didnt kno what to do,

staring to the computer,

waiting for something,

something i dunno,

playing songs of loneliness ,

every single beat in my heart,

sound out the rhythm,

every though in my brain,

the lyric of the song,

that i want to sing,

so i wrote this out,

to tell u the truth,

i cant let go of u,

i dunno why,

and i dunno how,

i couldn't leave u.

even it hurts my badly

so i wanna ask,

are you happy now,

with the stuff u did,

bring any regrets,

and last but not least,

will there be a turning back...

my useless candle

2011-06-11T09:09:00.001-07:00

haix... 2molo n 2molo n 2molo,
all i wish is a better day from day to day,
to the last syllabus of my pathetic time,
and with me i c idiots fools,
the way to my coming death, out out useless candle.
life but a walking puppet, a useless fellow,
that showing his best at all the time,
and that is life no more, is a story,
told by me sadly, full of bullshits and stories,
i am nothing...

(modified from life brief candle- william shakespear)
but then this is me...

smelly...

2011-05-27T09:30:00.000-07:00

today is like a dark day... morning wake up raining, then noting special all the way... then lunch go bac to dad's restaurant to eat... but dunno y get the bosong face... then go home also get bosong face... haix... wat on earth is wrong la... then go back college, the malaysian study... is good, vry good... then have some good n boring times inside the lecture theater... got club meeting wor?? for bon odori event, sounds fun... go home, fking jam some more road construction... damn hateful la... erm,, fetch sis then the party begins... go to hostel, fetch jeremy... with 5 pax in car which is me, jeremy, moc key, si won, wai wei... go leisure mall then meet up with kenneth, yi yan and patt... all crowd at boston for dinner then go pasar malam... eat the whole way through... although i'm enjoying the night but i'm worried bout wai yin... she couldn't come with us cause she is sick... hope she recover soon... v eat along the whole pasar malam n my 1st time smelly bean curd... wtf... feel like vomiting but then the taste is good... weird right? haha... the end...

may i??

2011-05-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

this was written during nutrition class bout 2 weeks ago but who the hell care bout the date... well this little poem is not me position now, at least i dun think so... thought noting much have change... i'm still the same old lonely flower hearted guy that nvr change... so lets read this poem...

I dunno your name,

I don't have your number,

I don't have your email,

But I can just remember your face.

The sweet smile you have,

I remember till now,

Melted my cold heart,

Trying to have a conversation,

But could hardly see you.

I know this is fast,

But I've been dreaming bout you,

I want to find you,

But my fear of failure holding me back.

late

2011-05-04T07:55:00.000-07:00

one day i woke up,

the clock beside me stop,

i was kinda late,

to chase back the time i have lost,

so stuff must be do short cut,

the effect was here for awhile,

but then it start fading away,

anything had pass is past,

anything that is coming is unknown,

leave your memories behind,

fight for every possible future,

time is a friend yet enemy,

oneself is always right and wrong,

the world is round,

look stuff at every perspective,

try figuring the errors out,

and sort it out with positive ways.

wonders...

2011-05-04T07:44:00.000-07:00

this is bout 3 weeks for college... lots have happen and changed is just a short period... dunno why people surrounding me start to change or maybe i am the one that had been changing... i really had no idea bout it... these weeks i learn lots of things but i have a fear for no good reasons... i feel so tense up in front of chefs in all times... who knows? maybe i chosen the road not taken in a wrong step...

reopen of college 2nd sem...

2011-04-19T07:56:00.000-07:00

it has passes 2 days for this sem... thought i dun learn anything yet but the 1st class of every lecturer builds up an amount of stress... assignments is really giving us a big problem as well as the learning outcome... i dunno why my mom keep repeating that is cost rm2k for a month of college fees... like come on, it is college la, not government school la... since that u nvr study higher studies so dun brag about urself... is damn annoying... haix...

a poem for u

2011-04-06T07:14:00.000-07:00

I wrote this poem just for you,

a girl i like for some time,

since that time you cheer me up,

and make me feel being love,

i might be thinking too much,

or just that i am too desperate for love,

no matter what is the fact,

you change my life,

giving i big impact to me,

and now you are too important to me,

although you are like sun shang xiang,

but i am willing to be your liu bei

girl...

2011-03-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

hey girl, wanna tell u that i like u,

but there is no courage in me to do so,

u pull me from the darkness that i had,

but now u r pushing me back into it,

what am i suppose to do,

u used to be there for me,

cheering me up when i'm sad,

being with me when i need support the most,

now u mean everything with me,

but then u leave me all alone,

it breaks my heart so much,

what the hell did i did wrong,

that u wan to break me like this,

o is that i'm no more in use for u...

girl, i wan to kno what that u r thinking,

i'm jus an ordinary guy wit noting,

i'm not a cell in ur brain,

i dunno what r u thinking,

y cant u jus tell me...

last day for uec service...

2011-03-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

2day v r doing our last practical for service at upper east cafe... there is only 1 customer throughout the whole day which is william that i invited him to have lunch here... learn to make a lychee martini n make it from too sweet till just nice... feel so satisfied when the ppl like the drink i made... then i must rush to the cinema to watch sucker punch... the actress is okay but the movie was not up to my expectation... kinda hope for something more and they dun even allow me to use the buy 1 free 1 voucher... haix... kinda bored la...

hihi...

2011-03-28T03:38:00.000-07:00

i was so long since i have open to this website... i'm still doubting that anyone will really read this boring life bout me... but anyway who cares?? so now i'm back to a student after SPM but now i'm a college student instead... the changes is superb now and then... i'm driving occasionally, not that active in st.john, going a joyful life i suppose... hmm... but like always, i'm still single and available however i would prefer to put is desperate... hmm... now is the sem break for me so at home damn fking boring le... finding some activity...

The end...

2010-12-09T01:56:00.000-08:00

Today is the end of SPM in my life... Kinda relive that it is finally over... It isn't such a bad day although i know that i totally screw out my accounts... i do feel kinda happy cause i and her are in the same class for exam... today might be the last day i will ever see her again by chance... college life is about to start in just a couple of weeks coming... but what is coming next is work then st. john and prom... i wanted to bring her to prom but still waiting for her exam to end which is on next tuesday... may god pair us up... nowadays i keep on hope for god but not praying... funny?? i currently are burning 1500 calories a day by riding a stationary bike to keep my fattiness to lost for prom if i go...

the loneliness...

2010-10-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

some times the wind blows,
breaking the silence with the sound,
it gives a peaceful feel yet loneliness i felled,
shattering the inside me that no one see,

what time is it to think bout such thing,

seriously i know bout that but what can i do,

if things can be controlled easily there will be no cases,

people dying by suicide for what ever reasons,

i would like to find some one is reliable,

that i can share my taught and care with,

would understand me from the deep,

always by my side breaking the silence,

so i want to ask god who is the one,

that can do so and bring me happiness,

but unfortunately what is fated is fated,

what will come will come what will go will go,

whatever that happen is fated...

graduation

2010-10-19T07:48:00.000-07:00

once in a life time event have over... finally i graduate from secondary school... is a happy day i consider... thought it is tiring and hot but it worth la... morning go graduation then get the cert, take some photos with most fren except ah jie lo... so early she went back liao... quite enjoy la... then i take cab to restaurant... i put my stuff then go and get my lens... it is hard and pain but i kinda enjoy it dunno y... it makes me feel much better... then i upload and tag... these used up my wonderful day... and to those whom i praise... i really mean it la...

help...

2010-09-26T04:46:00.000-07:00

today i had my re-BFA exam so was kinda boring la... I chat with ah jie for some time and had to prepare for exam... tomorrow is the starting of trial it will be help for about 3 weeks and this is something i am stress for no reason... should have know that i didn't study and not bother to... it gives me a headache la... the lasting is to select a damn college... i work out so hard for the whole year for taking up medical... but now i change field to culinary is there is no more changes... i dunno there is what good college that can suites me with affordable price... i can't get my thinking off this damn thing off my head.... help me solve this...

moodless...

2010-09-06T08:05:00.000-07:00

today wake up quite late in the morning then go have my breakfast... then online for some time to kacau n play before getting ready and go to take mu blackberry from repair... i take bus go then go tuition... my luck worsen when my blackberry turn spoil again... damn it la... then tuition... is freaking cold and it the temperature continues, i think the whole class can have hypothermia la... the last class is physic... it was so scary la... the whole class only me and a girl until the teacher enters to start the class and joke around... as 1 more guy enter... the whole class only 3 students... the end... boring story... but what to do... my life is boring and lonely...

long changes

2010-08-30T01:30:00.000-07:00

it has been a long time since i written any blog... haix... i just dunno what is wrong with me recently... i think i have change to a different guy... i am not the old me any more... lately, there is always funny images playing in my head for no reasons... haix... what is the feel of love is like? can anyone tell me??? i dunno what is wrong with me thinking on something that is not important for now... i couldn't control myself to stop thinking bout love and so on... is it that i'm too lonely that i am desperate for love? i am so lost in the darkness of my heart... i cant control my feelings that build every time i see the type of girl that i like... arrh... stupid me... god pls do shines me a way...

what is happening???

2010-06-25T07:56:00.000-07:00

haix... i really dunno why dad want me to be a pharmacist so badly, i just want to be a doctor and seriously i know what is the challenges that i need to face la... i know that becoming a pharmacist can earn pretty much and a lot happenings can occur but isn't couldn't really help people in the world by involving directly... what is the use of just selling medicine but not knowing the way to help in a case... the best joke that he say since i like it so much is waste not to study bout it... yup i do agree on what he say but i like to become a doctor not a pharmacist...

damn bad...

2010-06-17T08:41:00.000-07:00

what is wrong with today??? why today like super bad luck de??? haix... early in the morning is miss the early bus, then all my teacher didn't come for tuition then like what the shit, another class burn??? like shit only la... then call my friends for gathering and conclusion it is cancel la... haix haix haix... bad luck la... damn it...

mamarduke

2010-06-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

today wake up quite early la thanks to ah jie who so early sms me... i plan to finish online only reply her but she sms again so must get ready lo... today going out with ah jie to watch movie... i reach there by car la, coincident that dad got pass by time square... then go in and walk to find jie la... it took some time to do so la... haix... then we go and buy ticket before going to 10 floor for my breakfast la... so hungry... then we chat until time we go down and walk a few round before we enter the hall... the movie is kinda funny also it is meaningful... it shows that family is always the priority... next we go to eat Mr.Tempayaki for lunch then walk few round and bye bye... we take bus home but different bus la... i go office and online and had a nap before going to tuition... then bla bla bla... bye bye...nite

12/6/10 11.55pm

2010-06-14T08:59:00.000-07:00

nowadays i really what should i do... this new i enter is really worst than i expected la... dunno what to do bout it but don't really cares la, i just only will survive by myself and i wont pay a piece of shit towards it la... recently i felt more and more lonely, could hardly go for a movie like i use to go last year with my buddy... people change, he change, i change but toward the devil or good only gods know... i wasn't like last time anymore, and if my prediction is that good, it will never return to the same again even thought i hope that i am wrong but it could be tell in everyone's eyes... friendship in this world isn't permanent based on my observation but i hope that god will prove me wrong that there isn't true friend, love and loyal in this damn world where crime increases dramatically that all nation fear so much... this me??? i don't know any more...

edu fair...

2010-06-04T23:48:00.000-07:00

today is the first time i feel like growing up and do things for my own future... after eat dim sum then go to PWTC for edu fair... i kinda feel so expose to much and i have i clearer way to my future... but i dunno why that my parents want me to study pharmacy so much that i don't really like it... i want to study medical and be a doctor not a pharmacist... then what is wrong going to study at Russia??? why do they want me to study local or Indonesia... I wanna exposed to further and learn to be independent... how am i suppose to learn to independent if i can just call home for help... haix... wanna have a rest la... later going for mayday concert...

holiday???

2010-06-04T08:55:00.000-07:00

so holiday had come and again it remind me that SPM is getting sooner and i have to face it even i dunno anything... shit la... i really dunno how to study so HELP... haix... well is been almost a week after the movie but i miss her madly la... i just hope that i can just live a normal life like all teenagers... this sucks la... i couldn't really enjoy... dunno is my problem or what la... don't have much true friends, and till now I'm ASAS: alone single available sad... haix... girl i like you but i dunno what you are thinking... although your friend joke that i am your bf but i wish that it is true... haix... damn emo la what to do??? holiday start but it sound boring la, so much wanna do but so little time to do so...

another chance...

2010-05-29T08:12:00.000-07:00

today is damn tired la... my legs can hardly move la... but have to go to pavilion so i need to get up early and go there... last night the walk nearly kill me la guess I'm no longer as healthy as i was last time... it was a long road but i still manage to finish it la with my partner... so back to this morning, i wake up early and wake my sis up as she is always the cause of lateness... I'm so not going to let her causing me late for such important event... i reach sir's house by 9am and followed him to pavilion... reach there and wait for my friends that we haven't meet bout few months as the last time was during the camp... glad that i still can see her and her bro so we have breakfast together... we went for the movie "Prince of Persia sand of time" and it was not bad la... but our sits are so not cool, is the worst sit can ever get... luckily her friend have a extra ticket so she went with her friend living her bro and i both... is better for her since the sit here give a neck pain... then we have a walk to have a buffet at a place near federal hotel... i took lots of food to cover the money i pay... my rule is eat all i take and i can until i think is worth the price... then we have a walk to Low Yat then to Time Square and walk around until i went home... i kinda feel heavy heart to say goodbye and dunno when will we meet again but what to do??? every hi must have a bye... ya i admit that i kinda like her since the camp but i could do nothing bout it... so i go home do some stuff and sleep till dinner, tuition than online until time to bed... night night... sweet dream i hope...

long time

2010-05-27T22:09:00.000-07:00

isn't it long??? well i know la... it happened so much recently... strange right??? i have already quit from a place that i have pay a high price to reach... don't understand?? is ok it isn't that important anymore la... people changes by lot of factor... power, fame, wealth, awards, ability and also surrounding... i have a feeling that I had change also but to someone whom care for nobody but myself la... now in this world it isn't peace and justice anymore la... i really don't understand the people now including me... they could just think for their only beneficial and do whatever just to achieve it include hurting others la... damn emotional? noting can be done since it is already so... now i really feel less burden and i don't need to see peoples face to do whatever... some guys just don't understand that respect and trust need to be earn and not give an order to do so... yes i am talking who you think la... i fear for no one and just because you don't know me and appreciate me doesn't mean i am no one and useless... bare that in mind...

i wanna be the hero within u...

2010-04-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

If I could spread my wings and fly,

up so high that I could reach the sky,
I will make you cry with tears of joy,
seeing the world at this height.

If I could run a thousand miles,
so far with the speed of light,
I will make you scream with adventuress excitement,
traveling every corner of the world.

If I could swim and dive,
into the ocean and the seven seas,
I will make you shock able to swim with the unique creatures,
and see their special ability.

If I have the strength,
to oppose the injustice of the world,
I will make you scare no more to the villians,
as I am here as your hero protecting you.

But unfortunately,
I have no wings to fly nor the speed of light,
not even have fins to swim nor strength to fight,
because I am just me and not anyone else,
so I could do nothing but to only care for you,
a girl that I love and care with my heart.

release a bird...

2010-03-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

why am i doing this?

what do i want?

was it still the same me?

doing not rational things

for the sake of what?

let go but why not?

the wings are spreading,

trying to escape,

from being cage with its name,

let it go,

and fly up high,

let it see the world,

the good and bad of it,

what is true love?

why people kill,

and whatsoever that it come across,

fly fly fly,

fly as high as you can,

as far as you want,

I'm letting go,

as hard as i can,

so goodbye...

third concert...

2010-03-07T01:53:00.000-08:00

today i wake up early and go to school la... then when everything ended (skip all happening at school), go back to restaurant and wait until time to go home... then take my time online and rest la... but my mom with no reason come and disturb la... is kinda hateful la but don't care, i am going for to see Selina, Hebe, and Ella hehehe, SHE but I'm not their fan la... just go there for fun... when the strike, i move to the location i am supposed to... what else? had my dinner and time to move into the stadium... but before that, we are all separated into groups but too bad I'm away from my friend... never expected that I'll stand at the front sitting place... so happy bout it la... as the concert start, i try to keep myself focus but as the songs were sing, i begin to think of her... i make me so moody by then... i keep dreaming and dreaming bout her and how happy if she is by my side watching this concert together... haix... then time to go back...

sports day...

2010-03-03T02:36:00.000-08:00

today is a big day for me... i go to the stadium and prepare myself... there are butterflies in my stomach as the time approaching to the beginning... it all start well and ended well, everything is worth the price that had been paid... then is time to duty, I'm already soaking wet in my sweet (not that terrible la) and i need to walk around and do stuff... haix, it isn't that easy as you think... well just to skip the details, something that i planned work out la... hehe... i know i am evil but what to do? it comes in my name (just to make it sound nice la)... then the ending, is to be say later... then i go back, as i went outside, i see her again la but of course I'll see her, we are in the same school... hehehe... then i go back, skip tuition and while till now la... so the ending is, the end...

just so you know...

2010-03-02T04:50:00.000-08:00

Jesse Mccartney: Just So You Know

I shouldn't love you
but I want to,
I just can turn away
I shouldn't see you
but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you
but I want to,
I just can turn away
I shouldn't see you
but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know
How to be fine, when I'm not
Cause I don't know
How to make this feeling stop

CHORUS
Just so you know
this feeling is taking control of me
and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let it win now
I thought you should know
I tried my best to let go, of you
but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to, be around you
There's so much I can't say,
do you want me to have feelings
and look the other way

And I don't know
how to be fine, when I'm not
Cause I don't know
How to make this feeling stop

CHORUS
Just so you know
this feeling is taking control of me
and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let it win now
I thought you should know
I tried my best to let go, of you
but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

This emptiness is killing me
and I'm wondering why I waited so long
Looking back I relize,
it was always there to stand spoken
and I'm waiting here
been waiting here

mmmm.....

CHORUS
Just so you know
this feeling is taking control of me
and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let it win now
I thought you should know
I tried my best to let go, of you
but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

trust

2010-03-02T04:48:00.000-08:00

should i trust anyone anymore?

i know you for so many years,

yet you still can lie to me,

i told you that i like her...

now what?

you never told me,

about your relations,

and i trusted you too much...

you should tell me,

from the beginning,

that i am the third party,

before i couldn't turn back...

now i dunno what to do,

what to say and what so ever,

i guess I'll just wish both of you happiness,

and she is a good girl, don't ever bully her...

finally... the day had come...

2010-03-02T04:37:00.000-08:00

today i went school like normal la... then suddenly teacher call us to meeting at the computer lab after school... its just about some lame camp la but I'm not going thank god teacher accept my excuse la... hehe... haix, then i went down and surprising me is that my friends weren't at the usual place so i have my lunch before the activity start... there is noting much special la but today we just have more fun than usual... then the end of it and i went home, get myself a haircut and clean myself and polish my shoes when i reach home... i online la... today i kinda like skip my tuition... haix... but knowing something that hurt me a lot, very much... as the effect, i couldn't take it, i couldn't focus on what so ever i do... thanks a lot for playing me...

to be with you

2010-02-21T01:33:00.000-08:00

Mr.Big : To Be With You

Hold on little girl
Show me what he's done to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad
When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

Build up your confidence
So you can be on top for once
wake up who cares about
Little boys that talk too much
I've seen it all go down
Your game of love was all rained out
So come on baby, come on over
Let me be the one to hold you

Chorus

Why be alone when we can be together baby
You can make my life worthwhile
And I can make you start to smile

When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you

David Archuleta : To Be With You

I've been alone so many nights now,
And I've been waitin' for the stars to fall.
I keep holdin' out for what I don't know
To be with you, just to be with you.

So here I am staring at the moon tonight,
Wondering how you look in this light.
Maybe you're somewhere thinkin' about me too.
To be with you, there's nothing I wouldn't do.

And I can't imagine two worlds spinnin' apart
Come together eventually..

And when we finally meet, I'll know it's right.
I'll be at the end of my restless road.
But this journey, it was worth the fight.
To be with you, just to be...

Holding you for the very first time, never letting go.
What I wouldn't give to feel that way...
Oh...

Oh, to be with you...

Oh, and I can't imagine two worlds spinnin' apart
Come together eventually.

And when you're standin' here in front of me,
That's when I know that God does exist.
'Cause He will have answered every single prayer.
To be with you, just to be with you, yeah.
You....

a week after new year

2010-02-21T01:24:00.000-08:00

today is a day of gathering... i reach my friend house by 9am with others and wait until her parents fetch us to sunway pyramid... is my 1st time go there and also my 1st time ice skating le, so scare... so we skate for few hours and end up hurting myself, others i dunno la but for me, my leg, hand, ass, back paining le... and also cause my watch to shatter... then we had our lunch at KFC... guess what i eat??? i took a X-meal zinger tower set, cheesy wedges, and the valentine shrimp... my mood wasn't good by then... then we go to bowling and i saw an aquarium inside the bowling... what attract me is an alligator looking fish, and some sucker fish, the fish really suck, it suck the stone with it's extensible mouth then split it back out... then i go play bowling... hehe... guess what, i play got and get a strike... i mean a that means 1 strike only and other are miss, and into the drain... i lost badly... then we walk around and dunno why i lost myself, how great? they reach McDonald, without my notice... i call them only know my way towards them, then order a drink... we share the drink and refill quite a number... as time pass, we go back by cab to kelana jaya putra lrt, then switch to star lrt at masjid jamek... then as the station pass, few by few say goodbye and gone... for me, i run to tuition when i reach pandan jaya... i was kinda late but who cares??? when finished, i go to the night market before auntie fetches me home... i close the doors and online after bath... the whole day look fun right? but for me, i feel kinda lonely and i keep thinking and missing her, hoping so much to be with her... THE END

6th day of new tiger year(2010)

2010-02-20T05:47:00.000-08:00

today i wake up early to prepare myself... for breakfast, i follow dad to eat dim sum... man I'm getting fat and week due to eating on CNY la... but who cares??? i live to eat... then i visit officer and then return home... i online la... but this time i saw her on le... so happy but dunno what to do... dunno what to chat with her la... but i wanna have a talk de... haix... don't care la... then wait until dinner with my paternal uncles and aunties and also cousin... today morning is also the day my cousin, she is the closest to me among all, leave Malaysia and head back to UK to study and work... so sad... and i didn't manage to wish her good luck... may god bless...

5th day of the tiger year(2010)

2010-02-20T05:39:00.000-08:00

today i woke up quite early la... being disturbed by the guys... haix... so i go and had my breakfast... then online until dad ask me to pack and go swimming... i doesn't like swimming that much la... so after swimming awhile, i come out of the water, had a bath and lie on the bed prepared while waiting for sis and dad done... we then head to kepong and watch movie... it is good... kinda like it... it's so touching and meaningful... haix... then go maternal grandfather house... there we had our dinner... and we went home.. like usual i online and watch fearless...

4th day of lunar new year...

2010-02-18T23:25:00.000-08:00

today my dad wake me up in the morning to eat dim sum at Oversea Restaurant... after that i go home and my parents went out so i online like usual... so usual la... without notice few hour has pass and my dad ask me to take a bath... he further announce that we are going to leisure mall to watch a movie... when we reach the cinema we go and queue up the long line... then i saw my friend and we had a little chat... then my sister claims that she wanna had A&W for dinner so we did... the foods sucks... that is all I'm going to comment... then the movie is ok la... too much of actor which make it very messy... then go home and online again... hehehe... no other thing to do la... good night...

3rd day of Chinese New Year

2010-02-17T08:55:00.000-08:00

today i wake up and online since my parents and paternal grandma, and sis but not me went back to so call hometown... but not in my point of view la... so a get myself ready and wait for auntie to fetch me out to watch movie at GSC in Times Square... there we had breakfast before the movie... it is good la, makes my laugh until my pants drop (just kidding) i got use belt de... time i follow my cousins to have a walk and had our lunch... what else? go back lo... then online lo... dad called back and said that maternal auntie will come and fetch me... so get prepare... as we reach, we chat for awhile and had our dinner about 7pm... so as we reach home, same thing for me... online... bb

second day of Gong Xi Fatt Chai

2010-02-15T07:35:00.000-08:00

today i wake up late again... it been long since i wake up this late... today breakfast is yee mee... hahaha... then the whole day I'm at home online... I'm bored to death la... then call my cousins but all not doing anything la... haix... then i wait until they come my house for dinner but they just left after the dinner la... well is the usual stuff happen de la... then my dad say wanna go to a temple at night but i just don't feel like going... i just have the strange feeling bout it... until now i'm still online la... i know not much people interested to read my blog de lah... but i do feel a bit better when i express my thoughts out... still bored...

lonely valentine and boring CNY

2010-02-15T07:21:00.000-08:00

today i wake up kinda late due to late sleep and drank some wine... i was kinda dizzy after that... then i take an early bath before wishing grandma and my parents happy new year... hehe... there is important as is the hint to get red pocket or better known as ang pow... had a vegetarian breakfast then go time square to watch little big soldier by Jackie Chan... it's ending is kinda sad but i manage to stop my tears from flowing... after splendid movie, we went home have a sit then of to maternal grandma house... it wasn't that enjoying and it is kinda boring there... then go home bath, online and the end... wait... did i mention bout the valentine??? I'm so jealous looking at sweet couples celebrating their happy valentine but me what is the use of missing her??? she had rejected me obviously... haix... 5 year in secondary and i fail all my valentine, how great?

a song i wrote...

2010-02-13T06:05:00.000-08:00

So long, another year had gone,

is my last year, in this event here,

at a school, called Cochrane Road School,

on this date which is the Valentine.

This year, and the previous years,

just the same, but there were changes,

I'm all alone, celebrating Chinese New Year,

so sad, on this happy day.

Is my last, year at this place,

but there are months, before I graduate,

I wish to change, my life oh baby,

to a happy, and better life.

I'll give you, everything i can,

happiness, and love that you need,

all i want, is just to be with you,

forever and always.

whole week routine...

2010-01-29T02:40:00.000-08:00

Monday
i went school like normal la... damn i forgotten to bring my pj clothes... so i went and lend from a friend la then go play something like baseball la but different la... haix... I'm walking back to class, she walk pass in front of me heading for my classmate and they talk and laugh so happily well I'm very jealous, seriously emotional... then we went back to class and continue school routine until 4pm then go home bath and prepare for tuition... it is a boring routine life but what to do? this year spm... then night like usual...

Tuesday
same schooling day la... nothing much to do la... same boring routine finish school late and skip kasturi tuition due to school activity... so after the activity i go back home and rush to tuition again... but i manage to go to night market after the tuition... it been a long time since i when to the night market...

Wednesday
I'm almost late to school... thank to my pants that the zip spoil last minute and i have to call my friend to bring me a new 1... haix... kinda bad luck la... then nothing special la... school finish at 4.30pm for me... then go home clean myself and go to office... there i chat with sis and go bring sis back after tuition... it is noting special la...

Thursday
today i do stuff like normal and normal la... i wear coco shirt at school for the first time la also for pj use only la... as it is time that school finish, i go to hail a cab but before that, i manage to say bye to her... it is something usual to do but for me is special because she is special for me which is the main point... i go kasturi directly but was kinda late for few minutes... i go tuition english and math then as the bell ring, i went down... i wait for my friend which is form4 and we went back together...

my blog...

2010-01-28T05:35:00.000-08:00

i can hardly update la... always so busy so I can hardly online la... I'll post my school life every weekend la...

i wanna...

2010-01-23T06:52:00.000-08:00

I wanna be the one,

that will be by your side,

without your notice,

supporting you to the road of sucess,

helping you solving problem,

being a black sheep in everyone's eyes,

looking like a devil,

with its horn and tail wagging.

giving the evil laugh,

are the one behind the evil master mind

but what is truth,

am i the devil or angel,

the one helping or the one cursing,

the good or the bad,

and the most important,

is this call love.

i wanna love...

So i wanna love you by Akon...

I Wanna Love You lyrics
(feat. Snoop Dogg)

[Akon:] Convict...Music...and you know we up front.

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin’ and grindin’ up on the floor
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

[Snoop Dogg]
Money in the air as mo’ fell
Grab you by your coattail, take you to the motel, ho sale
Don’t tell, wont tell, baby say “I don’t talk, Dogg unless you told on me” - oh well
Take a picture wit me, what the flick gon’ do
Baby stick to me and I’ma stick on you
If you pick me then I’ma pick on you
d-o-double g and I’m here to put this d*** on you
I'm stuck on p**** and your’s is right
Rip ridin’ the poles and them doors is tight
And I’ma get me a shot ‘fo the end of the night
Cause p**** is p**** and baby you’re p**** for life

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin’ and grindin’ up on the floor
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

[Akon]
Shorty I can see you ain’t lonely
Handful of n***** and they all got cheese
See you lookin’ at me now what its gon’ be
Just another tease far as I can see
Tryna get you up out this club if it means spendin' a couple dubs
Throwin’ bout 30 stacks in the back make it rain like that cause I'm far from a scrub
And you know my pedigree, ex-deala use to move amphetamines
Girl I spend money like it don’t mean nothing and besides I got a thing for you.

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin’ and grindin’ up on the floor,
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know girl

[Snoop Dogg]
Mobbin' through the club and I’m low pressin’
I’m sittin’ in the back in the smoker’s section (just smokin’)
Birds eye, I got a clear view
You can’t see me, but I can see you (baby I see you) -mm
It’s cool, we jet, the mood is set, your p* is wet
You’re rubbin’ your back and touchin’ your neck
Your body is movin', you humpin' and jumpin'
Your t****** is bouncin', you smilin' and grinnin' and lookin’ at me

[Akon]
Girl and while your looking at me I’m ready to hit the caddy
Right up on the patio move the patty to the caddy
Baby you got a phatty, the type I like to marry
Wantin’ to just give you everything and that’s kinda scary
Cause I'm loving the way you shake your ass
Bouncin', got me tippin' my glass
normally don’t get caught up too fast
But I got a thing for you

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin’ and grindin’ up on the floor,
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

[Chorus: Akon]
I see you windin’ and grindin’ up on the floor,
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna love you, you already know
I wanna love you, you already know

girl...

ponteng

2010-01-23T06:12:00.000-08:00

long time i didn't update liao la... haix... today i skip school again, the 2nd time already... today by right i plan to go see the doctor before going to tuition but before it open there are loads of people queuing so i change my plan... tuition is kinda bored for me la... only during physic got eve and suria accompany me... then when break that time i had my lunch and go popular... as i return home and do the usual thing la but very boring... after have dinner, i go tuition... sien ar... i return home then on the tv and computer but still very sien ar... now watching astro aec for the my fm price giving ceremony... now i dunno what i want la... my mind so blur... dunno what i want ar...god please save me...

lust or love?

2010-01-17T00:43:00.000-08:00

does love and lust the same?

some say no and some say yes,

is could be hard to differentiate by some guy,

some guy like me,

is no harm saying so cause I'm also a guy,

what the hell am i thinking?

i want love or i want lust?

why does this happen to me?

why do i think dirty?

what am i suppose to do?

can i change myself?

this is a serious matter,

I'm having exams,

I'm going to approach to the society,

and learn more bout the world,

all things will happen,

yet i ain't mature enough to handle this.

all the things i can do is,

treat all good and not to discriminate,

care for all and help the needy,

share some good experience and stories,

teach all i know although there isn't much,

and work this out.

1st day of school... 2010

2010-01-09T04:54:00.000-08:00

The first day of school,

The day is so cool,

The traffic is jammed,

The place is full of noise.

I enter the school compound,

With joy and excitment,

A spirit that burns within me,

The start of something new.

Now I'm in class,

The last year for me,

As a senior,

To the newbies.

But my mind isn't in the class,

I just thinking bout her,

Wanted to see her,

Want to be with her,

Sitting next to her,

Talking and laughing with her,

Because I love her...

last day of 2010 aka new year eve

2009-12-31T21:54:00.000-08:00

well today is already a new year and also the start of something new... i hope nothing do change much la... big changes can cause a lot of problem to understand... well I'm already in form 5 and SPM is just going to be around the corner... I'm so not prepare... my new year was kinda boring and lonely again like always... morning i wake up late, bla bla bla... the same thing like usual... until night where we go and have supper after 9.30pm... we go to papparich again and this time i order pappa mocha ice-cream... and fish and chips...

then is time to go shopping at tesco ampang... we walk around until countdown... we watch the fire works and also did enjoy but this year is kinda disappointed by KLCC... i was putting high hope on the fireworks by them but it is worst than the one at the concert at bukit jalil... that one was fantastic but KLCC was totally out from imagination... it is bad and it end up bout few minutes... then we return home and online... i chat with my cousin at london and she did give me some advice like usual... then chat with my friends and also wish them happy new year... so now i wish you people happy new year... start of something new... by Troy and Gabriella in HSM1...

Living in my own world
Didn't understand
That anything can happen
When you take a chance
I never believed in
What I couldn't see
I never opened my heart yeah!!
To all the possibilities
I know that something has changed
Never felt this way
And right here tonight

This could be the start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new

Now who'd of ever thought that
We'd both be here tonight
And the world looks so much brighter
With you by my side
I know that something has changed
Never felt this way
I know it for real

This could be the start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new

I never knew that it could happen
Till it happened to me
I didn't know it before
But now it's easy to see

It's a start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart

That it's the start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new

Start of something new

before 2010

2009-12-29T06:24:00.000-08:00

blink an eye and here it is,

the end of this year,

and there is always a new spirit,

waiting for it times,

to burn for the future.

this year is about to end,

schools are going to reopen,

seeing some good friends,

and also some new face.

there are always something left,

the things that haven been done,

some people might haven say sorry,

some might say forgive me,

but for me i wish i have guts,

to tell the girl i like,

the 3 words that is always in my heart,

as the conclusion,

i have a heart disease...(joking)

that is the thing that i wanted to do,

but didn't even take any action...

boring lonely christmas day

2009-12-25T19:10:00.000-08:00

this year christmas is different than previous... this year we didn't celebrate at all and it is damn boring... my christmas is for my to clean the house and online... i bored to death... then when dad came home then we went for swimming at hartamas although it is just raining by bit, we still swim for an hour plus... I'm the earliest among us to come out from water...after bath, i enjoy myself at the bench listening to some songs, relaxing... when we are about to done, we meet with auntie and decided to have dinner together... we have our dinner at Kenny Roger... and bought some muffins...

then it wasn't end, we walk around in the complex and i follow auntie for awhile and she bought me some...

hahaha... then we go starbucks and have some coffee and i ask my dad buy me this but dunno why i feel like a kid then...

then we went to maternal grandfather house and maternal grandmother give me a cookie... hehe but then i crush by my sis... but i just put it back together...

then when reach home i online and mom ask for my phone... i so scare she will check my massage... it is my privacy but she took my phone to play games... sob, she is addicted to my phone and she will always ask for my phone...

lonely christmas...

2009-12-25T07:55:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting alone,

At the corner of the bed,

Listening to christmas songs,

But there are tears in my eye,

This is my way of celebrating,

This joyful day of December,

My lonely christmas,

I'm all alone,

No party, joy nor fun,

Just a sad day,

Alone at home,

Missing you,

The one i wanna celebrate christmas with,

A girl i love,

So i wish to Santa,

I want to be with that girl,

But nothing happened,

Guess i didn't do enough good,

for this year till Santa,

grand me this little wish,

leaving me celebrating this,

Lonely Christmas...

my christmas eve

2009-12-24T21:52:00.000-08:00

on 24/12, i sleep at 12.30am in the midnight because dunno why i can't sleep... then i remember that is my friend's birthday, so i wrote this for her la... i know her just a few month and well we do some good memories together when camp and outing... so this is for her...

Keep the memories,

about how we meet,

how our friendship start.

When there is opportunity,

all must appreciate.

I'm taking this opportunity to wish you happy birthday

then i woke up about 9am... i online and prepare myself to go out but my kai mui never call like she promise... than nothing to do, i eat some biscuits and drink milk as breakfast then clean my drawers, my room is quite a mess so need to clean it slowly and bits by bits... then when dad came home, i continue and dad dunno that i didn't went hang out so dad didn't get me lunch... so grandma fried some noodles for me... hehe it is so good... then continue cleaning and clean myself before online... than wait for mom come back, have dinner and have a game of mahjong... my luck ain't good so can hardly win... then dad came back and we go have supper at papparich... it is a cafe located near by...

my iced cappuccino

then when return, i online and chat with a my friends... then i ask about the pmr result of my friends... they did get good result... but some not sure la... then i go and sing karaoke with my sis and online again... then my cousin at england online so have a chat with her... then offline cause it was about 1am already... but then still can't sleep so i listen to song from radio using phone... it has quite some christmas songs but most frequent song is last christmas... and it is a lonely christmas for me...again....

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shyed
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me
Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me
Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying 'I love you', I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kiss me now, I know you'd fool me again

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

A crowded room and friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of eyes
My God, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A girl on a cover but you tore her apart
Maybe this year
Maybe this year I'll give it to someone special

Cause last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

And last Christmas
And this year
It won't be anything like, anything like

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

yesterday

2009-12-23T19:30:00.000-08:00

yesterday wasn't able to write blog because connection got some problem and cause me a mess... damn it even now still can't really online but need to use LAN... yesterday was so free i wake up about 12pm... it was the latest i ever wake up in my whole holiday... every night i wasn't able to sleep but can hardly wake up in the morning... after i prepare, i had my breakfast and online for sometime... after that i clean my closet and some of my drawer... it makes me think of my history that is memorial... i have a habit to keep memorial item like ticket of cinema and also certain day of bus ticket for example the day i go see competition and so on... then the school magazine... i now have 4 school magazine with some bitter sweet memories... then i take a shower and online again for some time... after that i go for dinner and watch movie like normal... but after that, i can hardly online so i got fed up and try to sleep but my eyes are still shining bright so i dunno what time i sleep... before that it is my kai mui birthday le 23/12 ... so this is for her

Crystal is valuable,

rare and wanted,

you my mui is my crystal,

sweet and cute,

together with mui makes me happy,

a kor love mui,

let kor be the first to wish mui happy birthday..

it is specially dedicated to my mui Crystal...

and due to the topic, here is waiting for yesterday, david archuleta

You and me, all alone, girl
What's going on?
Would you tell me what's wrong?
It's like you're locked up in your own world
Ooh, with nothin' to say

You keep me guessing but I see in your eyes
He made you promises but gave you lies
You're shutting down because you're so sure
That I'll be another mistake

I know that he left you in pieces
You know that I won't be that way
I'm not gonna treat you like he did
Ooh, whatever it takes

You think history is repeated
You keep on pushing me away
Oh, but nothing's gonna change
Waiting for yesterday

Is it worth it any longer?
So scared of falling again
Yesterday can make you stronger
So, why do you feel alone?

You know I love better than he ever did
This could be all you ever needed
Hold onto me and just remember
Ooh no, never let go

I know that he left you in pieces
You know that I won't be that way
I'm not gonna treat you like he did
Ooh, whatever it takes

You think history is repeated
You keep on pushing me away
Oh, but nothing's gonna change
Waiting for yesterday

I'm the one for you tonight
I'm the one for you forever
If it takes a little time
(Whatever it takes)

I'm the one for you tonight
I'm the one for you forever
If it takes a little time
(Whatever it takes)

I know that he left you in pieces
You know that I won't be that way
I'm not gonna treat you like he did
Ooh, whatever it takes

You think history is repeated
You keep on pushing me away
Oh, but nothing's gonna change
Waiting for yesterday

I know that he left you in pieces
You know that I won't be that way
I'm not gonna treat you like he did
Ooh, whatever it takes

You think history is repeated
You keep on pushing me away
Oh, but nothing's gonna change
Waiting for yesterday

watch 2012

2009-12-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

today i wake up about 9am to online then i make breakfast for myself and get prepare to go out... i and my friend reach ts by 11.30am so we go to the golden screen cinema and decided to watch 2012... the show start at 2.10pm so we went to the 10th floor and have our breakfast there... i didn't eat my breakfast at home, i just make it at home and bring it along with me... so we settle down and eat, while eating, we play with our laptop that i bring... after we finsh, we have a walk and go to Starbucks to online only... we didn't order for any drinks but just sit there and online until time to enter the cinema... then movie is quite good with the effect it looks so real but it is just a sad movie... i feel so sad while watching the movie... there are tears in my eyes but it didn't leak... the movie shows that how selfish a man can be to survive without thinking bout others at all... it isn't wise to lie to people especially those whom with lower grade of life... don't ever blind oneself with fame, power or money... even if one is blind don't blind owns heart because if one do so, we are worst than animals and robots which have no human's feeling such as love and care... after the movie, we have our lunch at the food court again and went online until time for us to get home... i return home by lrt and dad pick me up at the station... when reach home, i take a shower and have my dinner with my family... then watch movie until 9.30pm... where it lead to now...online...

principle of life...

2009-12-21T08:05:00.000-08:00

we must live with a heart,

a heart with emotions and feelings,

so don't ever be cold blooded,

nor turn bad nor evil...

people talks a lot,

but action speak louder than words,

we should do what we can,

and not say what we can't...

some people do right and some do wrong,

there isn't a person without wrong,

one must forgive but not forget,

always put yourself in others shoe to...

friendship must be add but not enemies,

one should reduce enemies and not friends,

be good to all not to get repay,

but as an token to be happy living together...

lub-dup lub-dup as the heart beats,

something that we don't want to stop it beats,

some people manage to regain it beats,

but there are some whom lost their beats...

sometimes people cry,

sometimes people smiles,

we cannot predict the future,

therefore we must live well...

i care for all but do they care bout others,

i want to live in peace and harmony but there are wars,

I'm here today but might die tomorrow,

so appreciate all before losing it forever...

take text book!!!

2009-12-21T07:19:00.000-08:00

today i wake quite early because was waken up by my sis but I'm able to sleep again until 10.56a.m. then i notice that i am quite late... so i get prepare to go to school with my bag... then i skip my breakfast cause it is kinda late and i don't have appetite to eat... as i going to school while listening to music, there are lots of things flew trough my mind like a wind... i saw few friends of mine that wasn't seen since school holiday start... then i get my text books... luckily i brought an extra handbag to carry my text books and school magazine... then i planned to return home as i start my journey to the bus-stop... the books are quite heavy but i manage to carry it... on the way to the bus-stop, a friend of my parent saw me and offer me a lift back to dad's restaurant... there is a change in plan... once i reach, i saw my cousin and walk with him after putting my stuff into dad's car... i bought myself an ice lemon tea and strepsils for my throat... it has been days since i sore throat but now only i take action... then i bring my sis from tuition and have my lunch before i go home... then i clean myself and online while watching saiyuki a Japanese anime similar to a chinese legend which is journey to the west... mom came home early to get ready for a dinner outside... I'm alone at home after dinner when my sis follow grandma back to her house... when dad return, he fetch sis on the way home... and now I'm still online waiting for the time to pass to the time i want...

strange dream

2009-12-20T01:53:00.000-08:00

this morning i had a strange dream and it related to a question my 'dog friend' ask me... the question is what will i do if the girl i like tell me she likes me? well i never taught of it to happen but i answer is impossible to happen... but then i dream that such thing happen and next everything is blur...well i really dunno that is this a sign or whatever la... all is so blur now... could hardly remember the following of the dreams... but i don't think is that important, the main point is that i dream of her... today is also the birthday of my friend so i write a poem for her...

Been friend for years,

Even lots had happen,

Let us recall our memories,

In things we did,

Nothing to deny,

Days had pass,

And here i am wishing you happy birthday.

while this morning i did sleep well with such wonderful dream and sleep so late last night... then i wake and online check for my mail and stuff... for breakfast i eat together with my lunch at taman midah with my parents and sis... i didn't fell well maybe and again gasping for air to breath... then we went shopping at tesco-extra and return home... i follow my dad out to the restaurant and go repair my spectacle at an optic shop nearby the restaurant... then i went to an opposite shop selling uniforms for school to get a new pair of shoes to be spare and a bag to replace my current one that has spoil when i carried my laptop out...then return home and online again and help my sis to transfer songs into her phone... then have dinner and online again... nothing i do other than online? got then i play ps2 and then eat sushi and pear la since that a friend advise me to do so... don't want to disappoint her la... i wasn't long till i follow dad out to buy newspaper... when return home, i and my sis sing karaoke for an hour... that is all for my day i guess...

second concert

2009-12-20T00:24:00.000-08:00

yesterday was the second time i went for a concert... i wake up in the morning quite early and had ask my dad to get me rice as breakfast and lunch... i went online the whole morning until lunch and get prepare for the concert... i wait my friends at the location as we planned and wait for our transport to send us there... we had our dinner and stand at the given place at the concert... i stand with my 'dog friend'(he ask me to call him so) again... we are kinda like always together set by the person in charge... while the concert is on, i feel very high and wanted to sing along but need to control, it was such a crowd... i do enjoy a lot listening to the songs and watching the concert and also chat with my friend during the whole event... i even amuse by some couple there were so happy jumping and hugging in the public... i make me feel so jealous that I'm still single and could do so... there are also lots of pretty, hot, cute chicks around... is normal to see those la, i am a guy after all... hahaha... then it end at 12am and we were send home... so when i reach home, i clean myself and prepare for bed... i listen to few more songs in my phone before i sleep... one song keep repeating in my memories which is by Eric Lin titled 'Wo Ting Jian You Ren Jiao Ni Bao Bei' cause it was song during the concerts that i have been and also i did edit it and tell my friend...

NI WEN WO WEI SHEN MA, BU ZAI GEI NI AN WEI
ZAI HAN FENG ZHONG MAN BU YOU JIA BU HUI
HAO JI TIAN BU JIAN MIAN YE WU SUO WEI

NI WEN WO WEI SHEN MA, BA NI DE XIN TUI HUI
YOU BA ZHAO PIAN SI SUI HAO BU HOU HUI
NI WEN WO WEI LE SHEN MA, KAI SHI HE JIU
ER QIE MEI CI DOU HE ZUI

BU YAO SHUO WO ZUO DE BU DUI
BU YAO SHUO NI YONG YUAN BU HUI
YIN WEI WO, ZAI WU YI JIAN TING JIAN YOU REN, JIAO NI BAO BEI

BU YAO SHUO ZHE SHI GE WU HUI
QING BU YAO ZAI WO MIAN QIAN LIU LEI
YIN WEI WO MING MING TING JIAN YOU REN, JIAO NI BAO BEI
NI RANG TA JIAO NI, BAO BEI

NI WEN WO WEI SHEN MA, BU ZAI GEI NI AN WEI
ZAI HAN FENG ZHONG MAN BU YOU JIA BU HUI
HAO JI TIAN BU JIAN MIAN YE WU SUO WEI

NI WEN WO WEI SHEN MA, BA NI DE XIN TUI HUI
YOU BA ZHAO PIAN SI SUI HAO BU HOU HUI
NI WEN WO WEI LE SHEN MA, KAI SHI HE JIU
ER QIE MEI CI DOU HE ZUI

BU YAO SHUO WO ZUO DE BU DUI
BU YAO SHUO NI YONG YUAN BU HUI
YIN WEI WO ZAI WU YI JIAN TING JIAN YOU REN, JIAO NI BAO BEI

BU YAO SHUO ZHE SHI GE WU HUI
QING BU YAO ZAI WO MIAN QIAN LIU LEI
YIN WEI WO, MING MING TING JIAN YOU REN, JIAO NI BAO BEI
NI RANG TA JIAO NI, BAO BEI

WOO~ OH NO NO

BU YAO SHUO WO ZUO DE BU DUI
BU YAO SHUO NI YONG YUAN BU HUI
YIN WEI WO ZAI WU YI JIAN TING JIAN YOU REN, JIAO NI BAO BEI

BU YAO SHUO ZHE SHI GE WU HUI
QING BU YAO ZAI WO MIAN QIAN LIU LEI
YIN WEI WO, MING MING TING JIAN YOU REN, JIAO NI BAO BEI
NI RANG TA JIAO NI, BAO BEI

first time outing since holiday...

2009-12-18T05:46:00.000-08:00

last night didn't sleep well... sleep at 1.30am and wake up at 9.00am... plus was having a stomach discomfort the whole night can hardly sleep well... then eat a banana as a breakfast and online to play facebook and stuff till 12.30pm... get prepare and wait for cousin to fetch me and my dad to the restaurant before dad fetch me to time square for the outing... i reach early and walk around while dreaming and listening to some songs... then i catch up with the others at the front of the golden screen cinema... unfortunately, there isn't any ticket left for the movie so we decided to take our lunch and have a walk... we have our lunch at sushi king and is quite expensive... after that we walk around and then is time to say good buy... dunno why i don't feel like last time anymore maybe is just that I'm to sensitive or something is wrong with me... i dun feel good either, i feel sick and have chest pain and can barely breath... but to let us enjoy our outing, i act nothing... then after walking for some time then we say goodbye and left.... i went to PWTC to have a nice meal with my family but i lost my road so i wait for my dad at lrt station to bring me to the food carnival... once we reach we have our dinner but the dinner isn't satisfied... it taste bad and does not qualify to promote themselves at the food carnival...

last day of tuition in kasturi 2009

2009-12-17T01:25:00.000-08:00

today i woke up kinda late la... but still manage to get to lrt station in time so conclusion i'm only late to lrt station for only 1 dsy which is weeks back... i sleep kinda late last night cause chatting with some friends... tuition totally unexpected never taught that Mr. Fong will be sick and absent for today then Ms. Christina replace his class... after tuition there isn't any place to go for me... there isn't anyone to hang out with... haix... so i go home lo... and doing noting...

luck?

2009-12-09T06:39:00.000-08:00

today i wake up bout 10 again la... cause last night didn't sleep early again... was smsing a friend that we use to sms a lot last time... it has been a time since we do so... then i get dome and go to tuition... on the way to lrt, my dad scold me that i didn't put effort in study so didn't get good result and say i still want to play computer and watch movies la... haix... man now is holiday la, and i haven even enjoy due to tuition... then reach lrt meet my friend from tuition bintang and he was on the way back to his school... and in the train i meet with the guys... arrh... can it get worst??? then during tuition resting time i on my phone and 'she' call that really surprise me and also cheer me a bit... then the teachers' joke like always... then go night market before go home...

wake up late

2009-12-08T06:32:00.000-08:00

today i wake up bout 10am when my dad come back... today is the latest day i wake up so far during the holidays... it wasn't a pleasant day to wake up this late while i got tuition and must reach the lrt station by 10.50am if don't want to rush to kasturi... i reach the station in time and manage to enter the train before it is completely close... then i listen to the songs in my phone and dunno why i nearly didn't get off the train when it reach to my destination... while i did dream a lot during the whole day like always... then is lunch where i plan to eat noodles but is so crowded where i change my direction to eat chee cheong fun... then i went back for tuition... at night, i argue with mom again like always and tell out my exam results which doesn't pleased by anyone but who cares? it isn't anyone's problem at all... so don't care...

kinda sick

2009-12-04T07:24:00.000-08:00

yesterday went to jusco and ate the food there... and last night i spend my time at jusco walking and sitting until it close and went home... the night is together the girl i like but we rarely speak compare to the past year... while time do change someone like the phrase, time doesn't change we change... this phrase was taught by Mr.Ruswell, a brilliant english language teacher of mine from tuition... the morning bout 5am i was woken up by my stomach discomfort and end up me having diarrhea for 2 times the morning... it was raining and i had to go to my friend house so i need to get a bit wet la... then i kinda worry bout joee. it is her first time working at the pc fair for 3 days... so i return home and do my usual stuff but i have a headache till now and is not cure even after eating paracetamol...

what am i doing???

2009-12-02T06:26:00.000-08:00

i should have been studying like a guy who is going for spm next year yet i still don't have any action... what is wrong with me? i didn't focus in whatever i do and whenever the time is... i just keep on dreaming on the things that is impossible such as sing a love song for the girl i like or neither write her a song nor poem... like a song by Khalil Fong, i and him also name Fong but why he can and i cannot... i don't even dare to say I LOVE YOU so how to do anything else??? haix... so this is the song i would like to sing to her la...

I wrote this song it's not too long
cos' I've been thinking 'bout you
I wrote this song maybe I'm wrong
To be caught up about you

Well I dont know what you think 'bout me
Maybe you think nothing at all
But maybe you could just lie to me
And we could be in love you see

Oh it's a singalong song that's not too long
It's when I think about you that I hear songs
And you can singalong maybe if you want to
Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

I wrote this song it's not too long
Cos' I'm the one who loves you
I wrote this song this can't be wrong
I don't wanna smile without you

Well I just want to make you happy
but maybe you want nothing at all
and how I wish that you're meant to be
forever and a day with me

Oh it's a singalong song that's not too long
It's when I think about you that I hear songs
And you can singalong maybe if you want to
Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

In everyway you mean more to me
than you'll ever know
girl I'll do my best to show these words are true
and if you'd like to make a song
and be a perfect harmony with me
I'd find the greatest words sing
so we could write our own romance

Oh it's a singalong song that's not too long
It's when I think about you that I hear songs
And you can singalong maybe if you want to
Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

Oh it's a singalong song that's not too long
It's when I think about you that I hear songs
And you can singalong maybe if you want to
Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

second week of holiday

2009-11-30T07:16:00.000-08:00

now i dunno should say time moves fast or slow la... i haven enjoy my holiday yet already 1 week over... just wish that i could really have some sweet time doing something that i like with the person that worth spending time with... today i skip math postpone math tuition at kasturi to Thursday because went to friend house for noting... long i stood and sat there doing nothing, and dreaming... but dunno why i really say that i miss her to my friend... guess i cant even miss a day without mentioning or thinking about her... then joee text me... joee is not just a friend to me but we are not couples... she is pretty, kind, caring and a lot of positive values... i miss her so much, it has been almost few months since we had meet... she wanted to ask me to pavillion cause she came by there but isn't my lucky day cause i was so far from there so must wast this chance to see her again... then i went home and online like usual... i came to know that the girl i like was online in facebook so i have a little chat with her... i asked if she had watch new moon, she haven watch so i ask her to watch together, but she say no time... conclusion i wanted to watch with her more than anyone else but she have no time...

holiday without mom?

2009-11-28T07:49:00.000-08:00

well my mom went to vacation so the whole week she isn't around... my family and i went to eat chicken rice late in the evening near the neighborhood before we start our holiday plan... we went to leisure mall to buy some books la but unfortunately i didn't get to buy the book that i want while my sister bought some storybooks... then we go to sri hartamas to swim for almost 3 hour... imagine what happen to my skin and hair??? although I'm not that type of person whom care bout my hair that much... is kinda hard for me to swim or should i say float cause my hair keep on poking my eye owch... then we go eat kenny rogers at there also but using coupons to purchase the meal... we went home and have our rest but not me... they take a nap but i just online till time for dinner... we go to pavilion to have our dinner at a chinese restaurant but the food there like shit... the more i eat the more i wanna vomit, even my mom can cook better... after that we plan to go shopping but neither my sis nor i have the mood to walk so we come home and here am i... dunno y tonight cant see the moon like few day past... it was so bright and so beautiful with some star around it makes the night much bright that give everyone hope like a light in total darkness...

new experience

2009-11-27T06:28:00.000-08:00

today I've promise sir at 9am at the usual place he hang out... then he teach me something new while i we chat till till time for our breakfast we go eat lum mee at pudu then go mid valley to have a walk... after that i follow him to petaling street to have our lunch that is chee cheong fun... then he send me home... i bath, and play computer before i take a nap till dinner... dinner at kepong again, it like 3 weeks the same place again...hahaha... mom is going to vacation and after the dinner she go to grandpa house to gather before they take a van to the airport... return home we watch movie and sing karaoke till now and still singing... haha ( i will be right here waiting for you)

returning to tuition...

2009-11-22T07:04:00.000-08:00

today finally return to kasturi after half a month resting from tuition but not school and exam... i return alone but last year i enter with some people that i used to call then good friends... the first lesson is chemistry and the give me 2 surprises... the first is the lesson, which i didn't think that she will repeat form4 syllabus and second is i never thought that she can teach this good... then follow by history, the same old teacher with some common jokes... then return home watch movie and rolling on the floor laughing... dinner is the same place like last way but in different condition which is this time i can eat more and not feeling sick... hahaha... i have put on alot of weight... i think more than 5kg... wow isn't it fantastic???

i feel...

2009-11-20T06:34:00.000-08:00

today i brought my phone and laptop to school to play but was so scare due to the last day of school for this year and follow by the school tradition it will mostly have a spot check... i ask my friend to help me keep all the confiscated item so that it wont get confiscated... while there is no spot check also la but just making myself worry... I'm taking 3 exam today because i wasn't able to take chemistry on Monday due to the case... civic is the 1st exam for today which i copy most of it to be honest... then after recess i take chemistry paper 2 then after some rest i take paper 1... it was such a tired day... must everyone talk in now with thorns in word?? is really hard to communicate and makes one so bad mood to even to continue the conversation... i really wanna know what are you thinking of?? I'm not a worm inside your brain that know everything about you... i cant stand anymore, all this is killing me... I'm so fed up of this and all... Wouldn't it be bored playing the same thing over and over without any limits?? I am also a human and i got feeling so please mind your words...

thinking if while emoing

2009-11-19T04:36:00.000-08:00

today i feel like some disaster will happen... i pack the books to return to school but the plastic bag split before i step out from the house... i need to find anther big plastic to carry the books... i feel so emotional the whole day didn't talk much nor fool around like always... there are some guys whom gather and ask me what happen but seriously i myself also dunno what had happened to me... i like totally emotional even finish school and so on... haix... i think i should mirror myself what is my problem... but i did something that i have stopped for a long time... so ern check this poem that i wrote during i emotionalizing...

If only things are much better,

on this unfaithful world.

If only I could live,

in a life full of peace.

If only I can hold on,

with the principle of my life.

Then I could be a better man...

If I am happy with all I do,

there will be no regret nor guilty.

If I know what to do,

there is no mess that I'll make.

If only I have the courage to tell you,

how much I love you so,

and ask what you think of me...

fainting at school...

2009-11-17T02:14:00.000-08:00

yesterday i went to school like usual but not feeling well surprising me there is much people that is absent whom are the form3... i just fell like vomiting before the assembly start, then i feel dizzy want to faint... my friend help me out of the line and into the sickbay but i does not get better instead i get worst... i was then brought to hospital for check up by the ambulance from headquarters... i was having a hard time for few hours... when I'm getting better i wake up but was then frighten by the blood getting out from my hand trough the needle for water... i return home and rest till afternoon, mom go to school to help me take my things... after lunch i do my usual stuff and pack for school... i never taught that i will enter the first aid room as a casualty again...

regional review

2009-11-14T23:36:00.000-08:00

today need to go to school because got regional review... i reach school by 6 something and settle my things... then waiting for everyone... my friend did something that really make me so uncomfortable before the review start anyway the review end early...i fell sick and tired after that but still online and have a chat la... then go hartamas eat dessert while waiting dad and sis go swimming and bath... after that go for dinner i feel so sick and don't feel like eating...what a day for me...so sick

in my mind?

2009-11-14T04:01:00.000-08:00

few day i've been thinking bout her...during school, exam, home, study and dream? i got no idea what am i thinking and doing... i cant control myself , i can hardly spend a day with out thinking of her... haix... even i'm standing next to her, we will hardly talk or do anything together. we always see each other but what is the use??? there is always a gap between the two of us... there is always an excuse for me to not take any action... arh... god save me... send someone to guide me to a bright future, guide my way... there isn't much time left for me, since is going to have a long holiday... my plan is just go tuition everyday then watch movie also when free with my friends... it been a month since i do so... I'm addicted to it like a drug...there is a song called 7 tian zui dao ni but dunno is there such a possible thing to happen...

exam-dreaming

2009-11-05T00:10:00.000-08:00

exam is so darn hard... haix... really dunno how to answer la... but for me dunno why it isn't a big deal... i still think of other things that isn't possible to happen... dreaming the whole day is what I'm doing till now... why do i still think bout her although there isn't any possible that we could be together... our status so different plus i still dunno what the hell i want... there is always the negative thinking in me so badly... really need to get myself fully occupied and stop thinking all this rubbish... dreaming is good but don't let it to overcome you, one should always dream but not to much and every good dream means a challenge to fulfill it, a goal for your daily life to be more meaningful and living such memories to share and tell to friends and the young one... but never accomplish the dream that is full of negative stuff like kill and what so ever... do good even there is no repayment, even you mean nothing to the person... for me, there is a feel of happiness after do good but the feel of guilty if did something that is not right... for some i love, I'll help them with more efforts (you go rest)...

monolog

2009-10-29T01:44:00.000-07:00

what do i want??? should i tell her how i feel bout her??? is kinda hard to say those words out... haix... but really have no idea what to do...life is damn complicated addition the world will end on 2012 which means I'm bout 18 still so young...i dunno what am i doing anymore... dreaming everyday thinking of negative stuff... what is wrong with me???

charity dinner

2009-10-25T05:23:00.000-07:00

a night that i have gain some memories to remember... i was wear up formally from home with coat and tie worn... most people will only wear this when the event start or reach the location... i reach early with my friend just to have a nice time looking around and check for any friends that reached... i say my friend that dress different than usual surprise me... never taught she would dress like this before and she is quite pretty that night... unfortunately there is not much chance to approach due to the different of 'status'... the dinner is quite special and better than i expected... but dunno why have the feel of emo at sudden... luckily the emo last after have some wine thanks to officer... as the dinner ends, we took some photos and sing song before saying good bye... but my night haven't end... my family bring me to supper before going home... it is a good night huh??? i guess i do really like the girl i was talking of...

nice photo of CRS my division

wondering in leisure mall

2009-10-19T03:38:00.000-07:00

wake up in the morning and just text my friend ask him go out but dunno where... so the result is leisure mall... we go there by bus and wondering around till we go eat breakfast which the mi sucks,,, after that go cut hair... check this out

then watch surrogates at gsc the only cinema available there...

then shopping like nobody business... who say guys don't do shopping??? hahaha...

time to go,,, bye...

my celebration of depavali 17/8

2009-10-18T04:33:00.000-07:00

it was a nice morning waking up early and go eat breakfast with my mother site of the family... we reach there but still need to queue for a place to sit... guessing what breakfast so disturbing?? its dim sum... is like a all meat food there obviously... lunch is also another piece of meat la chicken rice and char siew... scary by now my cholesterol must be shooting up but it haven end... dinner at 'the SHIP' ... fantastic? damn nice i order barney but not the purple dinosaur... it is the combination of chicken, turkey ham, lamb... I so need to go for work out...

so fancy??? the disaster come now... the first time feel so i dunno what to do... it is horrible my mom the big baby took my computer and play non-stop crazily... i and my sis were so bored and keep doing nothing... until one limit i just blast out of the room returning to mine and shut the door locking myself... with akon songs playing from the radio so loud... then i jus sit near it and dream till i dunno what is happening till the end of that day...

boring

2009-10-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

i jus start blog after some times my friends ask me to do so... today is a boring day like always i guess... and learn that it is good to have someone around... bored can make someone like me feel so lonely... i thinks is good to be alone but not always especially when feeling so dead with all the pressures... something stupid that always happen to me happen again which is having emotions over movies even just an anime...